Parenting Styles

Parenting and Infant Care

Every parent is different. You have parents who run to their babies every cry, you have some who know their cry means they may be bored so they will give them another toy. You have parents who are constantly interacting with their child, and parents who will sit their baby in front of a TV to keep them entertained. And you have parents like myself, who fall somewhere in between.

I belong to the in-between group. I do let my son fuss sometimes, when I know he is fed, changed, and is fully equipped with toys. Sometimes I have to get things done. I wish I could tend to my child all day, just playing, interacting, exploring, and teaching. But, the fact of the matter is I work part-time (very part-time), and some days he may be upset with me but I have to get ready for work. Other times I am trying to get the house straightened up a little bit. And honestly sometimes I just need a breather.

I think it is important for him to have some time to himself to explore.I will put him in his crib with some stuffed animals so he can see the different colors, and feel the different textures. Sometimes I will put him on the floor with his toys for him to reach for, grab, and interact with. Other times I will take him to the beach and let him play in the sand. We will go out in the front yard and let him play in the grass, and let the grass run through his fingers and toes.

There are plenty of times when I wear him, while we dance and sing in the kitchen. All the while I am prepping foods, doing the dishes, playing with the dog. This little boy keeps me on my toes and he doesn't even crawl yet.

I do not judge others parenting styles, and would hope that no one would judge mine. We do what works for us, and as long as my child is happy, and healthy I would say I am doing a pretty good job.

If I lived in a perfect world, we would have a farm full of money trees so B and I didn't have to work. I would have a fairy to do all of the house chores, and anything else I could think of. B, Roo, Little, and I would lay in bed for half of the day cuddling, playing, and get up to do fun things afterwards. But this isn't a perfect world, this is my world, and this is what works for me.

xox-J.

4 Month Sleep Regression...WHAT?!

So I kept hearing there was this thing called the 4 month sleep regression. This is where your baby pretty much goes back to the newborn stage and wakes up all through the night. We had reached 4 months and 1 week and we were sleeping through the night I thought we were good to go. Then out of no where, up 3-4 times a night. And during the day was so fussy and needy, I just wanted to SCREAM. What happened to my baby that would sleep 12 hours straight? The one that smiled and was always content. Can I get him back please??

About the same time this sleep regression was happening he had started to develop what I thought was a heat rash. This heat rash decided it would be best to just take over Roo's face. :( I talked to my cousin who informed me it was eczema. And that it could be an allergic reaction. This could also explain his acid reflux, and gas. So off to the grocery I went to get him some hypo-allergenic formula. I went with the Nutramigen, which runs you about $26 and would last 2 days. Geez!  I gave him that for his last 2 bottles of the night, and BAM! woke up to a new baby. He was no longer fussy, and he only woke up once in the middle of the night. It seemed like smooth sailing, but then a week later he started getting diarrhea, and fussy again. So I decided this time to take him to the doctors. She said he had eczema, and under his neck was actually seborrheic dermatitis. I would need to use special soap, and lotion on him. And for the dermatitis I would need to put on some hydro-cortisone cream whenever he had a flareup. And also, change his formula to Similac's version of what he was on (Alimentum).

He is still on the Similac version, and he is doing great! It also seems to last longer, as the scoops are smaller and don't require you to pack the scoops. So it saves us money, and he's happy, so I am happy. I'm not sure if he was going through the sleep regression, or if he was just going through some tummy issues which was what was waking him up. But the next step was to sleep train this baby, so this mama could get some sleep.

xox-J.

Smile-y Pants

At about 3 months something happened, something big. My Roo smiled at me. It was an amazing feeling. This wasn't one of those smirks that you chalk up to gas, this was a real smile. It seriously melted my heart. I had waited for this moment for what seemed like forever. And it had finally come. To this day I can't catch a good smile on camera, but I know it happens and that is all that matters. He had turned out to be such a happy baby, and I loved every second of it.

I had to start going back to work, and this wasn't as hard for me as many describe. I'm not sure if it was because I only left for 5 hours and then had off the next day, or what. But it felt good to get into the swing of things, and get out of the house. That feeling lasted for about a week, and now everyday I dread going in. I just want to stay home with my Roo, and Little. I don't want to miss a second of his life. 

At 3 months we also hit another milestone. Roo was sleeping through the night. Ever since we brought him home he had slept in our room, in his pack & play bassinet right next to our bed. I could hear him breathing and every little sound he would make. And that made me happy. When I had him I told myself that when he slept through the night there was no reason for him to sleep in our room anymore. So this is when I am supposed to put him in his room... I came up with every excuse why this wasn't a good idea, and tried to tell myself it wasn't time. But, it was time, so B and I put Roo down in his own room. That night I barely slept, my eyes were glued to our video monitor, and I watched every move. I would focus in on his chest to make sure it was moving at a regular pace. I would make sure he didn't put the blankets in his face, and didn't get his limbs caught in the crib. It was quite the night, well the week for that matter. I hardly slept the first week, but he slept fine. He no longer wanted to be swaddled and he would move all around in his crib, he felt free, he was comfortable, he was no longer my little, tiny baby.

xox-J. 

Sack of Potatoes

The first month or so of a babies life, they are like a sack of potatoes. Except these potatoes poo, cry, and need to be fed. Quite the needy potatoes we have.

I am not going to lie. Everyone explains this "unconditional, love at first sight" feeling for their baby. I didn't have an immediate bond with him. I am not sure if it's because I had a c-section so I was robbed of the whole birthing experience, or if this is just real life, and no one wants to admit it. I don't think I had PPD because I never thought of harming Roo, or myself. And I took awesome care of him. I just didn't have this unexplained love for him--yet.

The first month was hard. I would be up all night. I exclusively pumped. Which meant I had less sleep than most. I would wake up to feed Roo, then I would have to spend atleast 20 minutes on the pump before going to bed. Every time he would eat, I would pump. Every time he napped I pumped. I pumped pretty much every 1-2 hours. For anywhere between 20 and 40 minutes. I wanted to get every last drop out to be a successful pumper. I still didn't make enough though, and had to supplement.

After a couple weeks I realized that my Roo had started to become quite the little fuss pot. I couldn't figure it out. Luckily his 2 month check up was in a few days so I waited. When we went to the doctors she pushed on his tummy a little bit and she asked me if he had been fussy. I thought maybe because I looked so sleep deprived she could tell I had a fussy baby. So I told her yes but not to the point that he was colic, thinking she had some magic miracle to help me get more sleep at night. She told me his tummy was full of gas bubbles and should take gas medicine with every feeding. Since becoming pregnant, and now being a mother, I had become quite the hippy. I was not much for medicine, but I had tried the all natural way (gripe water, the bicycle exercise, etc) and it wasn't working so I tried the over the counter gas drops. She also suggested I switch his formula. So we did. And she suggested I don't eat anything that would make me gassy, because that would in turn make Roo gassy. So I listened.

It didn't take long for those gas drops to kick in, and suddenly I had a STINKY sack of potatoes. The stench would linger too, it didn't go away quickly, just hung out. You would think this baby had poo'd and there would be nothing in there. But, my Roo was no longer fussy, so I was happy.

xox-J.

A New Life: Roo

I get wheeled down to meet my son. The whole time I can't stop itching my face from the medicine, and all I can think is, Thank god the baby won't remember this because I probably look like a drug addict, I sure do feel like one.

The first time I see him outside of the OR he has his arms stretched out above his head, and he is just hanging out. Looks like he should be on a beach, getting his tan on. We hang out in recovery for a bit, and then we are taken to our room. We are quickly joined by our family, all checking out Roo, and checking on me. It was quite a loving experience. Roo was born at 36 weeks and 1 day. So he was checked on A LOT. But, at least he was in the room with us. He had trouble keeping his sugar levels elevated. So I would feed him when they told me to, and he was checked. Finally, he was in the clear. It almost came to the point where he would have to go to the NICU until he could regulate it, but my baby was finally in the clear...Or so I thought.

Then came jaundice. I knew it was common in babies, especially if they are early but I didn't think it would happen to mine. Poor Roo's foot had been pricked so much for the sugar levels, that his foot was so tender and bruised, and now they are having to prick his feet for this. He ended up having to spend the night in this blue zip up bag looking thing, on this blue light. But, at least he was in our room. To get rid of jaundice a baby must poo it out. To poo you must eat. My milk or colostrum hadn't come in yet. Because he was early he couldn't pull it out too well.

   Funny thing about this blue bag. He had to spend the night in the bag. When B got up to change him in the morning the bag was filled with liquid, Roo's back was soaked. I almost cried thinking my baby had been sweating in that bag all this time and I didn't know. We called the nurse, and we told her. She told us it was pee. He had pee'd out of his diaper. But his diaper wasn't wet where his pee-pee was. So this is still a mystery to me.

I wanted so bad to breast feed. When I was younger I was weirded out by the idea, but as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to breast feed. I also wanted to have a completely natural birth, but as you know that didn't happen. Because of the jaundice I ended up having to supplement, we couldn't wait around for my milk to come in. This was my first mistake as a mother, but you live and you learn. I pumped and pumped to stimulate my milk to come in, I would get the teeniest amount out and feed it to him with a spoon. Little did I know but that pump would become my life for the next 3 months.

Tucker's levels were finally leveling out, but he had to get lab work done again in the morning. I had the option to go home, and come back at 7 am to get Billi test (test for jaundice) done. This would give them enough time to process the results so his pediatrician could make go over the results with us at his 9 am appointment. All I wanted to do was go home, and get away from all of these nurses. My BP had come down quite a bit, and I just wanted my bed. Even if that meant waking up super early to start our first journey as parents. So home we went, and that was the best decision I ever made. I couldn't have been happier to be home, and I slept better than I had in almost a week. And Roo looked so cute at home, and so small in his bassinet part of his pack and play.

Tucker's levels continued to level out, after a few more trips to the hospital for Billi tests, and a few afternoons laying next to the window, he was finally in the clear. Finally my baby is all well, and doesn't have to be poked, pricked, or checked anymore. At least until his next check-up.


xox-J.

Birth

I had little sleep the night before, nurses coming in-and-out all night long. My c-section was scheduled for 11 am. I am laying there, and people start flooding in. Family being there for support, and all I can think of is sleep, but I know the nerves won't let me sleep. Finally the nurse comes in and gives me something to relax. Well, that was nice, wish I would of had that last night. I am starting to relax but everyone is chit chatting, and I started to get anxious.

The doctors come in and tell me how everything is about to go, which I understood. The anesthesiologist comes in, he talks so fast I just nod my head, and hope for the best. Finally it is my chance to go down. I walk to the OR, and on the way the nurse asked me, "What kind of music do you like? We can put on whatever you want." I am thinking to myself, I want you all to be comfortable, you're ready to cut me open, and take out my baby. I replied, "Whatever makes you comfortable, probably country right?" "Country it is", she replied.

I walk into this very cold room, and do as I am told. I sit down on this table, and finally my nerves have started. This whole time I've been so strong, I haven't shown my anxiety, or fears. I start shaking a little, and blame it on the temperature of the room. The doctor gives me the medicine in my back, and my body goes numb. As soon as the medicine goes in, the speed of everything in the room speeds up. I mean we were going very slow and calm like a Sunday Driver. And now we are in Nascar. They told me this would happen, but I didn't think it was this severe. They tell me to lay down as they are pushing me down on the table. The blue screen goes up so I don't see everything, and there is B, right by my side holding my hand.

I'm not sure if this is how a c-section goes, as it was my first but it was very violent. I was being shaken, pushed on, tugged on, and who knows what else. Because of my extra fluid, Roo was floating up high and needed to be brought down to my incision. I see a mirror going up behind my head so I look at it. A few minutes later my little boy is in the mirror. Looking bloody, messy, but still cute as hell. I say to B, "He's perfect." He replied, "How do you know?" I nod towards the mirror and he sees him and agrees. I told B beforehand to follow the baby, where ever he goes, you go. I don't want to end up on tv because my baby was switched at birth. So every move the baby made he was right there. So I am just laying there being stitched up.

Some random pediatrician comes over and tells me although my baby was early, he is perfectly healthy and I will be able to join him in the recovery room. This pediatrician looked so similar to my pediatrician when I was a baby/child/teen (I didn't leave until I was 20, not much for change). My pediatrician is also Roo's pediatrician, so I was confused how they managed to get him here just for my c-section...turns out it wasn't him, it must have been the meds. They bring me my baby, and I could barely lift my head to see him. In fact, I barely saw him, but I did kiss him, and I knew Daddy was following him, so he would be ok.

Then B comes back and checks on me. Did I mention how sweet he was? He tells me all about the baby, shows me pictures, and walks next to my bed as I am being wheeled down to recovery, to be with our baby. Because now I am a mom.

Roo was born on March 5th, 2013. At 12:10 pm. 7 lbs, 9.5 oz. 19 inches long. 

xox-J.

My Pregnancy Journey

I am Jessica. I am a 23 year old, first time mother. I have never been much of a researcher but as soon as I found out I was pregnant I did it all the time. I couldn't help it. My advice if you are pregnant, DO NOT GOOGLE...too much. It is a black hole that will pull you in, you start reading about SIDS, Hypertension, Pre-Eclampsia, weird discharge, and much more. Between getting up every two hours to pee, and googling everything possible, I am not sure how I ever slept.

I had a pretty easy pregnancy I would say..in the beginning. My first trimester I had morning sickness, but it liked to stick around ALL DAY. My second trimester was a breeze. I craved warm chocolate chip cookies, and taco bell. My third was a little different than the rest. At 34 weeks I started to develop pre-eclampsia. My BP was high, and I had a little protein in my urine. I was also HUGE. Super swollen. Sometimes I couldn't even bend my toes. I was put on bed rest. But had 2 high risk doctor appt's a week, as well as my regular OB. Not much time in the bed if you ask me. But that was fine because I was stir crazy after the first day. My first visit with the high risk doctor he told me he didn't recommend I go over 37 weeks, and wanted me to have a c-section. I was developing pre-e, and I had too much fluid in my placenta. Which could cause cord prolapse if I went into labor on my own.

So 36 weeks comes, I go to my high risk doctor, and Roo didn't pass the stress test, and almost didn't pass the sonogram test. My BP wasn't as high as it had been but it wasn't normal either. Luckily B was with me through this. We go to lunch, and then off to my regular OB. She checks me, and my BP is super high at this point. She brings me into her office and says, "So with your BP being so high, and your high risk doctor doesn't want you to go over 37 weeks, I have already called and he has OK'd you to have your baby today. But, I know you just came from lunch so I am just going to have you go next door to the hospital and we will have your baby first thing tomorrow morning." My mind is RACING. I haven't packed my bag...I need to get my car cleaned...Good thing I showered this morning...Where is Little, our dog, going to go?...All of these thought start rushing. Then it hit me, tomorrow morning I will officially be a mother.

So I go to the hospital, and once my mom arrives, B goes home to pack my bag. I sent him home with a long list on his cell phone with everything I need and where to find it, and everything he will need to set up for when we come home. He went home, and his mom met him there. They finished cleaning the house, putting away the laundry, setting up the pack and play, and getting my LONG list of items. He comes back, with so much stuff, and I decided we needed to try and get some sleep.

I haven't slept without B in so long, with everything going on all I wanted was to be cuddled by him, be his little spoon. I come out from the bathroom to find my bed lowered and the couch bed pushed up against my bed. Brought tears to my eyes, he is the sweetest there is.

xox-J.